John "Tippy" Mayers 

Tippy knows everybody of any consequence in the world personally, has been to their house for dinner and once spent an evening swapping stories and getting drunk with them. 

Tippy is always first rate company and he always has an excellent new tale to share, is always ready to lift everyone's spirits and, crucially, is always first at the bar.  

John is very steady, very reliable and a great choice to play dependable foursomes with. He is still, despite advancing years very able to be highly competitive and, frustratingly, not likely to make a huge error (such as knobbing his drive into a bush).

The very embodiment of the well known French proverb..

"Vous ne pouvez pas enseigner à un vieux chien de nouveaux tours"

When struck, the ball does not appear to go all that far but, when compared to some of the younger more thrusting and enthusiastic strikers, it sometimes goes embarrassingly further than they would like.  Tippy will often out drive the harder hitters.

The reason for this is that the swing is pretty good, the fundamentals are all in place, there is not much to go wrong and the quality of the strike usually very good. As a result the ball will go quite a long way and it will be in play.

Upon that much at least you can rely. 

Tippy can get round the golf course quite well even on days when he isn't playing too well because of the sound technique. Thus it is that Tippy is possibly the most consistent golfer on the tour apart, of course, from the old putting problem of which we do not speak. 

Handicap:

Now a solid 10 but may need a couple more soon.

In summary: Good driving, solid iron play, good chipping, on the greens: deadly from ten feet but occasionally fragile from three.

Tour Wins

Two. 1999, 2002.

Hall of Shame

None, though surely only a question of time?

Form and Outlook

Tippy was always going to be a hot favourite for a top two spot but much would surely depend upon keeping the high block when tired at bay and avoiding the short putts issue. Despite the advancing years, tiredness seemed to affect everyone except him.

Tippy is always raring to go and perhaps an early night or two might guarantee a return to the winner's rostrum but that is not Tippy's style.

Napster Forecast:  

Always a certain Top half contender but needs another shot now.

Star Sign

Gang Plank

Distinguishing Marks

An expert is delivering a well timed verbal thrust designed to get into your head and worm its way around a bit to worry you at a crucial point, Tippy typifies the indomitable spirit of the Gritters Fraternity. He is competitive, a good sport and generous with his time and money. To say only that Tippy is a Gritter is akin to saying that Beethoven was a piano player and that Shakespeare wrote a bit. 

Bad Habits

Falling into harbours

Redeeming Features

Always first at the bar

Catchphrase

Contents of golf bag

"Physically I'm in good shape but my dignity is in tatters".

106th edition of Burkes Peerage, Antique mahogany putter, old Tony Jacklin irons with new designer grips, alarm clock.