Tim "T.C."Clarke         Back to Tour List             Home Page

T.C. has never been able to hit the big dog off the tee but, every now and again, fools himself into thinking that he can. This results in the purchase of an expensive driver that lasts for two or three rounds before being replaced when he gets fed up of playing every second shot from behind some old dustbins.

T.C. has a garage full of rusty drivers, driving irons and other items that were impulse purchased, used for a short while and then jettisoned.


The most recent fashion accessory was a "Gentleman's Persuader" that, amazingly, travelled fairly straight and for long enough distances.

As a result T.C. is usually on the fairway but hasn't hit a green in regulation in living memory.   



T.C. may attempt to hit his new Ping G5 driver.

A Gritters Spokesman said "Obviously it is highly dangerous to allow these modern clubs to be used by an untrained idiot and everyone should be on their guard. We suggest that the safest place to stand in directly in the middle of the fairway".


T.C. always has a 40 pointer lurking somewhere but not

often enough to trouble the scorers.


Too many misguided efforts to hit a driver have in the past proved to be a major Achilles heel.



T.C. always takes some lessons just prior to the each trip, specifically to help him with his driving and these have made no difference whatsoever.


Still a little indifferent from the fairway but

justifiably claims to be the world's greatest

chipper from fifty yards and is a fantastic

streak putter. 


The handicap has been down as low as eleven but that was always a bit optimistic.

He has 14 shots to play with and he should be deadly off that number.


A typical dialogue with TC would be:


TC: "I've hit that really well"

Cock: "Where is it"?

TC: "It's in the lake, but I hit it really well



Tour Wins

One. T.C. won the 2007 tour.

Hall of Shame

Sadly, now 2. T.C finished last on the 2004 tour and the 2011 tour


We were amazed. T.C. had been playing great golf just before the tour started, much less erratic than normal and the lessons with the driver were certainly working. However, expectations were dashed.

Future Outlook

Will be trying to repeat the 2007 win and there is no reason why he shouldn't. His game is in great shape, he just didn't do it this time.

Napster Forecast:

First again we hope, but in any event, the top four.

Star Sign

One Iron

Distinguishing Marks

Plays a funky mouth organ and has recently developed a penchant for dressing up as a fireman (see archives).

In 2003 he attended the auditions for the Thunderbirds movie where he,

disappointingly, failed to get the part of the mommy's boy who flies Thunderbird Three. 

Bad Habits

Buying a new driver every four weeks

Anagram My hot tickler

Redeeming Feature

Props up the profit margins of West Midlands golf equipment stores.


  "I've hit that really well".

Contents of golf bag Ping Driver (Mint condition) 8 one irons and a putter, 23 mobile phone chargers